Thursday, June 15, 2006

The Redneck Vacation

After checkin out the prices on that fancy hotel Joanne wants to stay in for this family remunion.
Russ and I jus come up wif the ultimate "Redneck El cheapo Vacation".
You can all come here an stay in the 3 RV's we got parked out back and we will take you in his newly remodeled 1964 Starcraft fishin boat out to Dead Lake for a gran tour of the best fishin holes this side a skeeter pond.
You must supply yer own bait-leftover chicken legs from the Redneck Orientation BBQ in the welcome center (back yard) is always a good idea.
There is a restaurant at the Bull Creek Fish Camp that has Fresh Fried Catfish to die for along with french fried local sweet potatoes.
Then you can all join us in a family singalong cause they have karaoke on Friday and Saturday nights right there up under the stars in fronta all the neighborhood.
Dogs will be howlin and bullfrogs will be a croakin right along wif ya.
Recently our good friend Carl put his 50 ft. unregistered yacht into the water there and floated it out beyond the site of the marina so he wouldn't hafta pay for slip space and it is a great place to drink beer and gig for frogs while enjoying the stars which seem to multiply as the night wears on and the many wonders a nature.
THe next morning Russ can take ya'll to Crescent Lake- he has installed 2 engines on the boat so not to worry.
Yes it is a ways to get across the lake but just think of all the excitement you will be having wondering if yer gonna make it
-life jackets and a whistles will be provided for each passenger.
Upon yer arrival on the other side of the lake you will heartily disembark and kiss the ground then stumble up upon the next tourist attraction upon yer journey which will be the infamous 3 Bananas. Famous for it's rustic view of the other side of the lake and overpriced tourist cuisine...last time we wa's there cost us $20 fer the both of us and that was includin drinks...these people never heard of .50 cent beer.
After pissin away all yer vacation money we will then high tail it back to the other side of the lake where they do have .50 cent beer.
But we gotta get back before dark or it could be a long night cause there ain't no lights out there to get back by.
Although at night is the best time for giggin for frogs so if you are plannin to do that be sure to bring yer flashlights to shine in their eyes-giggin poles will be provided.
A special crabbin' tour is available by request-meaning-if you really are serious about "catchin crabs"-throw the traps in the boat, and a pail and some Long Tongs.
Once we get back home there are plenty of fun rides for the kids cause we got all manner of off-road vehicles for some brave soul to take em out on.
Motor scooters, mopeds, motorcycles and dirt bikes and lots of mud ponds for those mud buggin afficiandoes.
After a hard hot day of ridin I will be more than happy to spray you off wif the garden hose-but the kiddy pool is for the kiddies...if you want a big pool that everyone has pissed in -well the ocean is just 15 miles away.
The author of this disastrous material is Ann Menke - a blogging crazy person that just happens to do website creation.

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